In a few, unrelated matters....

This may turn out to be quiet annoying for some people, if it does - well tough... :P

This month has been Great. It is now the last weekend in November and in total, I have racked up nearly 90 nights under German Stars - in fact Monday will be my 3rd complete month here..   

The fact that is is November, means a few things right now.

1) This is all going WAY too quickly!  Christmas is , annoyingly,  the half way point of this.  Im pretty shocked at how quickly the time is going, and and how Christmas symbolizes that , although 4 months is a long time - Don't really have all that Much time left!

2) This is pretty important. In fact, apart from only about 3 other things in my life (and food and sleep come below this)  This is the final F1 weekend of the season.

From this moment onward, my weekends are empty, bare and spent looking forward to March 17th , when it all starts again!
Some people do not understand how I can be so obsessed with the F1, and how I plan weekends around it. Well - I argue the same for football, or whatever you guys like. I don't know what it is , but whatever it is - I love it!

Im posting this now, before the qualifying on the Saturday, because this season can go 2 ways. One guy I want to win, and the other I would rather see his car bogged-down in a gravel trap.
if it goes that way, you'll hear from me again, and if it doesn't - Then I wish you all a happy Christmas - for all until 2015!

Im also excited about march for another reason - It is under wraps a bit at the moment - Once confirmed, THEN I will reveal all! :D

3) Germany is preparing for Christmas.

These are some comparisons to the way that Germany prepares for Xmas, against the UK  

There are some lessons for the UK here...  which include..

- The coke advert DOES NOT meant the start of Christmas, nor should seeing it make the top 10 on twitter..  Its an advert - every other advert annoys you!

Clearly, I am a pro a Photoshop

- Christmas songs - If it is not Christmas, don't play them - Germany is saving my sanity in that respect

- Christmas lights - your house is not meant to attract the attention of other planets it, therefore, does not need to have enough bulbs to keep a large block of flats lit up for 3 years.  a few, tasteful lights will be fine - even then, you do not need to put the up in October

- Though, yes, this is a busy period in the shops - you do not need to queue outside of the shop, nor when you are in the shop, must you act like a TOTAL tit!   There is no pushing, no fighting and you can breathe. Nor do you go into a shop with 400 customers and only 3 members of staff on duty..

These are just a few things...   UK - this is how Christmas should be ... 'Tis the season to be Jolly!!  NOT Jolly pissed off!!

A generic Christmas Market Picture

As part of the Christmas preparations, I have been asked to go to a Christmas Market in Bayern (Bavaria) on December 9th.  Im looking forward to it - and if you are some of the (Very) few people I but Christmas presents for - it could be that you end up with something very German and bought from this market. Even still - you will be able to spot the tourist at 20 paces - because it will be me , with my camera asking completely stupid questions.


The other thing about this time of year is that is is now the 24/11/12.
This means that in 28 days.. I go home.
Im not desperate to , far from it. In fact I think that i could easily spend Christmas in Germany, given how nice everyone is.
However, there are some things that I am beginning to , not miss as such, but would love to be re-acquainted with again.
some things are a bit sad
- Irn Bru, My xbox and a TV that talks to me in English would be lovely! but there are the other things too.

I miss this stuff!

Family are in short supply in Germany.  They annoy me at times, but they are almost contracted to do that - but no one understands you better than your family. 
Also, My dads sense of humor is desperately needed.  I usually refer to his thoughts as "dads 'professional' opinion" He always has one - and the way he conveys is is fantastic. my dad also is the type of bloke that doesn't need to SAY anything..  the face usually says it all!

My flight is on the 20th December.  This is to Manchester from Frankfurt, and it was pretty cheap because I took my dads advice and booked early.
When I booked it - I was going to book for the Friday, but chose not to.   
This was because of something I saw on the website I used to book them. I thought that it was so fantastic, that I was going to take their advice and run with it

"please note - some flights on 21/12/12 may not fly, due to the supposed 'end of the world'"

It was a Joke, the website was clearly taking the mick, but I thought that it was brilliant!
So I booked my flights earlier.

Anyway, having explained a few things, I may as well let you know what I have been up to.

Yesterday, I went to Frankfurt and met up with the 'Hessen Mannschaft' which are the other language assistants that are based in Hessen. we had a few drinks, a good laugh and it was great fun!   more to the point, I didn't miss my stop, after - Once again - falling asleep on the train.
Again though, I payed for a ticket and it wasn't checked. I have considered not paying -but that is tempting fate! I have also been invited to go to a performance of "A Christmas Carol" in Fulda!
So - im off to go and see a performance of "A Christmas Carol" in Fulda. looking forward to it actually. Its another chance for me to feel cultured!

Ill check in again sometime soon..   I think December is going to be busy!

The German Health System...

As if I haven't spent enough of my life in a hospital...
Well, those of you who have me on Facebook, will know that the other day, whilst attempting to cook.. I decided to totally ruin the top of my thumb with a knife.

A ceramic Knife!

Well, normally,  I try to laugh off injuries...  but - it was bleeding pretty badly.. for 30 minutes
The Irony behind it all is, that I bought a New knife, because I know - being a Scout for however many years - that blunt Knives can be dangerous.   I bought a ceramic one - which are ridiculously sharp, but also look like plastic to be deceptive (see right)
Anyway.
The offending Item that I was cutting was an Onion, ready to go into a Pasta - My dad will know exactly was I was up to!    My old knife was a tad blunt. When I say blunt.. I mean that butter was a struggle for it.  so I bought this new one.  I really wasn't used to how sharp it was - ans, having made sure my fingers were safe - I applied the same amount of pressure as I am used to (with a blunt knife)
The key word in the previous sentence was fingers.

I went straight through the onion (impressively well actually) and then straight into my thumb (again, Impressively well actually!)

Bleeding started.
Bleeding escalated

I have had first aid training (it is , at the moment out of date) so the first thing I did was whack it under the running tap .. well, this made it look like John Cramer has been in my flat (for those of you who don't know the name - he is the guy from SAW) and it wasn't helping the bleeding much., though it was sorting the pain out a treat.
So - I used my first aid know-how and went straight to the Pressure thing.  What did I use?  well..  A SOCK!   This was no ordinary sock.. It has just been in a wash with towels by mistake - so it had been boiled!  so it was Clean (ish) or cleaner than anything else anyway - and likely to hold together for longer than Bog-roll..

This is when I decided to go to Hospital...   I don't know the number for the ambulance here - and learning it is tempting fate - but I wasn't going to ring them for a bleeding finger - so, sock now tight and in hand, I was off on the 30 minute walk to the local A&E department..

Nice walk - the slight "going into shock" thing wasn't too nice, but I got to the hospital.  A&E was empty...

Now - Imagine ..
You have just had the minor panic of cutting your thumb that hasn't stopped nor slowed down the bleeding for what has now been an hour and you were in a hospital in a foreign country .. and you had to explain the problem.
Well.. the Nurse came, she smiles and said "Bitter Schön" (which is the |German way of saying "can I help")
Well, my sock had now born the brunt of about 45 minutes worth of pretty serious bleeding, and was now just dripping onto the floor..
I told her, in my bestest panicky German...   "Ich habe meiner Daume Geschnitten"  or 'I've cut my thumb'

She realized at that minute that German was not on the cards and said "Well, I am your guardian Angel - I can sort your thumb, and my american husband means I can speak English!"     Get in!

She then proceeded to do all of the paperwork..  she explained that, though she would love to do thumb first - its not possible to administer treatment until there was the paper work done !  (well, yes.. Im in Germany!)

Luckily, I had my wallet in my coat from a previous trip to the bank that day - oh - and to buy the bloody knife! so I have my EHIC and Insurance card with me :D

So - with not a single other patient - I was introduced to a nurse who only spoke German..who began to treat my thumb - by now, I was a bit more chilled and had caught my breath - so German was working now..  but - as the English speaking nurse was bored - she came in to help too...

It was all really good - apart from the German one asking if I had brought the knife with me...    because I clearly carry blood - covered kitchen knives around with me at night!

I was Glued (which failed) and stitched... bandaged and sent on my way - and told to go and register at a doctor to have it checked in the morning.

After he Hospital...

I just had to go home now...   and clean up all the blood from the floor
Today, I registered for a Doctor...  What a farce!

I went into town at 12, thinking that all the morning rush of people waking up Ill would be over - and people will not have fallen over in their lunch break yet.
Well, on a Thursday in Germany, you can apparently only be ill on on a Thursday during   9am-12PM and 5PM-7PM

well, I misse the 12 part, so loitered until 5 in coffee shops  (caffeine overload!)

I got in a 5:05PM, where the cue was out the door!! but I got to the desk at about 5:15, so not too bad - I registered (which the nice receptionist did mostly for me from my ID)In Germany, you choose your doctor.. She asked me to choose by saying 2 names..  and nothing else..  I was first like "it doesn't really matter, i don't plan to visit again! She told me i had to choose, so I went with the guy whose name was easier to pronounce!  Herr. Doktor Wagner. (now imagining some shite x-factor dropout!)  How she expected me to choose with just a name I ave no idea - don't get me wrong, I did't expect a powerpoint of their credentials or anything..  but its like.. whats the point??!   Then.. it was time... went and sat in ...

THE WAITING ROOM...
Oh my god..  This is the weirdest room I have ever been in...

Not the actual room.. but nor far off!

In German doctors surgeries , when people walk into the waiting room, they almost announce themselves with a "Guten tag" and we are expected to say the same back!  WHAT THE HELL!!   In the UK, talking in a doctors waiting room is Strictly forbidden!! but walking in an greeting everyone!!  This would explain the weird look I got when I walked in..  I did not greet the Ill people..

Also, the waiting room was just like a Mr. Bean Sketch:
-  man with a beans tin stuck on his hand
- a woman who was clearly there more often that the furniture
- the guy who makes a point of turning the page on his magazine
- the people that know each other, who have met by accident and describe their symptoms in Extreme detail and very loudly ( all im saying, I definitely spoke the least amount of German in that room.. and I understood that I didn't need to know about that part of this lady..so..  yeah...)
- That person's whose cough get worse the longer they wait..

Honestly..this was the clientele of the waiting room tonight - It was just odd.. with every walk of life crammed into what was clearly an old doctors office with some chairs in it..

Anyway..  I waited for about 35 minutes..  (I didn't have an appointment, so they just cram me in whenever)
I was then called into a room, were the same receptionist who has registered me, took my bandages off - I have no issue with this - I couldn't do it alone, and you don't exactly need  a degree to take a plaster off...

This revealed my thumb.  she asked me what the Hospital had done - which I explained (in German) .
She then just fucked off, almost yelling that she was off to find the doctor..  Great!

After the Bandage came off - stitching covered with strips

Whilst I was alone in this room..  I noticed the following...

- the sharps box was an old bulk size washing-up liquid fluid tub, with the top cut off
- the computer was logged on - and written in German and English .. if i'd have had sinister intentions..
- there were hoards of drugs (prescription) on the shelf above my head
- there were those stereotypical brown bottles, making it look like the hospital from the film Pearl Harbor!

the doctor shone a light on it - told me to go back Monday, took EUR10 off me , and left - after 2 minutes of looking at my hand, and 20 talking about why I was in Germany..   such a nice guy!

I was about to leave. when the receptionist came back.. and re-bandaged my thumb.. she gme me 2 spare bandages and then , as soon as she had finished said "bye!"

umm.. ok then..
The doctor then caught me on the way out, and said that the stitches are out on Monday..

(upside down) but what it looks like now - with a camp bandage bracelet!

so.. I loo forward to it...

going by the last few day.. I wouldn't be surprised if Mr Blobby took them out..


I have had to be so careful writing this.. Im kinda scared that Ill have written 'bondage' instead of 'bandage'